The Girl and the Smile

Friend F and I shuffled towards the bus stop. Yet another day in school had passed. Time to head home for dinner. It was almost eight at night, but from previous experience, we knew that our bus will be packed. "Another "standing room only" trip, eh?" I commented as the single decker bus came into view. Friend F muttered something about the bus providing us a cross-section of Singapore's heartlanders.

We climbed aboard. Sure enough, there was only standing room for us. It didn't matter. We've served National Service. We've both dived the depths. I've climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. F has completed a marathon before. We've both survived our first year in university. Standing in the bus? No problem.

As we moved toward the back of the bus, I noticed a girl occupying 2 seats. She had the look typical of people with Down's Syndrome. At times, she'd clap silently, all the time wearing a huge grin on her face. I figured that it was rude to keep observing her, so I chatted with F while to keep my attention away from her.

9 bus stops. Time for me to get off. By now, we were all the way at the back of the bus, so I had to fight through the crowd to get to the exit. As I squeezed past a fellow passanger, my eyes came across the girl again. She was looking at me, still wearing that wide grin. She waved, then held eight of her fingers up. I had no idea how to respond, so I ended up wearing my diplomatic smile.

As I got off the bus, I wondered about the diplomatic smile. I guess it was the only thing I could do at that point of time. My hands were occupied, I had to get to the exit before the bus pulled away from the stop and I couldn't just ignore the girl. Thus a smile. The universal sign of friendship.

But is it really a sign of friendship? The very fact that it was a diplomatic smile means that I wasn't truly sincere. It's the smile I use in awkward situations. See someone familiar in the street, but not sure who he is? Diplomatic smile. At a large party and not really close to anyone in particular? Diplomatic smile. Think that your boss cracked a joke, but at the same time not sure if he was being serious? Diplomatic smile.

How often are these smiles sincere? They aren't the "raise eyebrow, twinkle eyes, deep dimpled smiles" when we see someone we truly care about. They don't come from the heart. They come from the brain.

The comic strip "Dilbert" once documented this phenomenon of diplomatic smiles. The character was recounting how he wasn't sure how to greet a fellow employee (or worker drone) along the office corridor. In the end, the diplomatic smile he came up with looked like a cross between "looking like (I'm) about to sneeze, and (I'm) suffering constipation."

Take out the humourous aspect of diplomatic smiles, and you'll realise what a sad world we'd be living in if everyone only flashes such smiles. -Jimmy