Just Another Clubbing Night
Or you could just call it "Why I'm not a big fan of clubbing."
1) Convincing myself that it'll be fun.
Everytime someone suggests that we go clubbing, I'd think "Ok, maybe this time would be different." And after that, it just feels like all the other nights I've spent clubbing.
2) Feeling like a dork without gelled hair or swanky clothes.
Even the employees manning the door dress nicer than you. Res Ipsa Loquitor.
3) Stupid !@#$%^&* Cover charge
Some clubs allow girls to go in for free. Then they make suckers like us guys pay to enter, based on the premise that free entry for girls means more girls will go, more girls means more targets for guys and more targets for guys means that us suckers should pay the hunters' fee. Seriously, would operating air-conditioning, strobe lights and throwing in 2 measely drinks cost over 20 bucks? I don't think so. I smell rip-offs.
4) Expensive drinks
Someone should tell those clubs to smuggle in duty-free alcohol. Will save them loads of money. =P
5) Alcohol-fuelled madness
People go in, drink stuff, mix them around and overshoot their bodies' alcohol metabolic limits with calculated efficiency. Whatever happened to "enjoying the drink"?. And why do they do that? To feel high enough to dance and not worry about 2 left feet. Or 2 right ones for that matter.
6) Where are all the seats?
They're all reserved. Unless you're willing to contribute to the GDP by spending on an overpriced bottle. "We don't want people to drink cheap housepours and do idle chit-chat. We want them to dance like mad and drink like mad. It's good business."
7) What dance floor?
It's just a huge orgy of gyrating bodies! Bumps to your face, people grinding against your butt, being jostled around... Oh, and a word of advice: wear covered shoes.
8) 2 left feet. OWWW! Ok, now I'm left with 1 left foot.
I can't dance for nuts. Not that I have the space to do so anyway. Heck, you don't even need to dance! Just let the masses jostle you around!
9) Lust is in the air... Oh, lust is in the air...
Guys approach female strangers and start dancing. And start snuggling. And start kissing. Strangers, mind you. You don't have strangers approaching you on the street and kissing you, do you? The SDU might just start sponsoring clubs since some people go there to get lucky anyway. Might help with the cover charge too. =P
10) Superficial. Everything.
Do you really think that the girl you danced with last night had any feelings for you? Do you have any for her? Do you really think that the club is a good place to find a bf/gf? I mean, just being in a club to pick out a partner seems like a pretty desperate move to me. Conservative, old-fashioned, uptight me would prefer to find a girl through more conventional means, thank you very much. Even speed-dating sounds less dangerous.
11) When the lights come on
You're half deaf, you're dehydrated and you wonder how you spent the last 4 hours of your life. If you find someone to share a cab with, lucky you. If not, the taxi drivers are more than happy to collect your fare rated at 150% of normal. Tough luck. You sit alone in the cab, wondering why you even bothered to come out. You didn't find any new friends. (Sure, some of them might prove to be not-so-superficial out of the club, but you don't know that yet. Do you want to find out more about them in the first place?) Your clothes stink. You're tired. Then you wonder if you'll suffer from a hangover. Oh, just thinking of it triggers a minor headache on its own. And you'll sleep in till late morning when you get home. That's one evening and a morning gone. Hope you enjoyed yourself.
Hope this post doesn't cast a negative light on clubbing. I'm sure people out there love clubbing and find some reason to go back week after week after week. I don't. To each his own. But please, if you could care enough, enlighten me on what that reason is. I'd like to know, and I'll try not to be sarcastic with my reply.
Till the next clubbing outing! -Jimmy
1) Convincing myself that it'll be fun.
Everytime someone suggests that we go clubbing, I'd think "Ok, maybe this time would be different." And after that, it just feels like all the other nights I've spent clubbing.
2) Feeling like a dork without gelled hair or swanky clothes.
Even the employees manning the door dress nicer than you. Res Ipsa Loquitor.
3) Stupid !@#$%^&* Cover charge
Some clubs allow girls to go in for free. Then they make suckers like us guys pay to enter, based on the premise that free entry for girls means more girls will go, more girls means more targets for guys and more targets for guys means that us suckers should pay the hunters' fee. Seriously, would operating air-conditioning, strobe lights and throwing in 2 measely drinks cost over 20 bucks? I don't think so. I smell rip-offs.
4) Expensive drinks
Someone should tell those clubs to smuggle in duty-free alcohol. Will save them loads of money. =P
5) Alcohol-fuelled madness
People go in, drink stuff, mix them around and overshoot their bodies' alcohol metabolic limits with calculated efficiency. Whatever happened to "enjoying the drink"?. And why do they do that? To feel high enough to dance and not worry about 2 left feet. Or 2 right ones for that matter.
6) Where are all the seats?
They're all reserved. Unless you're willing to contribute to the GDP by spending on an overpriced bottle. "We don't want people to drink cheap housepours and do idle chit-chat. We want them to dance like mad and drink like mad. It's good business."
7) What dance floor?
It's just a huge orgy of gyrating bodies! Bumps to your face, people grinding against your butt, being jostled around... Oh, and a word of advice: wear covered shoes.
8) 2 left feet. OWWW! Ok, now I'm left with 1 left foot.
I can't dance for nuts. Not that I have the space to do so anyway. Heck, you don't even need to dance! Just let the masses jostle you around!
9) Lust is in the air... Oh, lust is in the air...
Guys approach female strangers and start dancing. And start snuggling. And start kissing. Strangers, mind you. You don't have strangers approaching you on the street and kissing you, do you? The SDU might just start sponsoring clubs since some people go there to get lucky anyway. Might help with the cover charge too. =P
10) Superficial. Everything.
Do you really think that the girl you danced with last night had any feelings for you? Do you have any for her? Do you really think that the club is a good place to find a bf/gf? I mean, just being in a club to pick out a partner seems like a pretty desperate move to me. Conservative, old-fashioned, uptight me would prefer to find a girl through more conventional means, thank you very much. Even speed-dating sounds less dangerous.
11) When the lights come on
You're half deaf, you're dehydrated and you wonder how you spent the last 4 hours of your life. If you find someone to share a cab with, lucky you. If not, the taxi drivers are more than happy to collect your fare rated at 150% of normal. Tough luck. You sit alone in the cab, wondering why you even bothered to come out. You didn't find any new friends. (Sure, some of them might prove to be not-so-superficial out of the club, but you don't know that yet. Do you want to find out more about them in the first place?) Your clothes stink. You're tired. Then you wonder if you'll suffer from a hangover. Oh, just thinking of it triggers a minor headache on its own. And you'll sleep in till late morning when you get home. That's one evening and a morning gone. Hope you enjoyed yourself.
Hope this post doesn't cast a negative light on clubbing. I'm sure people out there love clubbing and find some reason to go back week after week after week. I don't. To each his own. But please, if you could care enough, enlighten me on what that reason is. I'd like to know, and I'll try not to be sarcastic with my reply.
Till the next clubbing outing! -Jimmy
posted by Jimmy at 5:09 PM
2 Comments:
1) Don't make it sound like you're blaming yourself for organizing when you didnt!
2) Dressing casually is better than trying to dress up and looking totally lousy, some places have dress codes, if they don't, too bad! And anyways in the darkness with flashing lights, you cant see for nuts anyways.
3+4) Remember that like all businesses, clubs are money-making operations.
9) That's one of the main attractions of going clubbing. At least for some people.
10) Think ONS
11) Sounds like you really didnt enjoy it in the end, hope you have a better experience next time (if there IS a next time)
11)
10:19 PM
Hey, thanks for actually bothering to comment! Seriously... I did a sour and angsty post just to get it out of the system. There *might* be a next time.
5:08 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home