Beautiful Sunshine of the Spotted, Unclean, Uncertain Mind
First to fly. Fly, my straying, disjointed, incoherent thoughts.So here we are 13 weeks into the term. Most of the projects are done, so I finally find some time in my hands. Enough, perhaps, for me to start thinking about weird stuff when I have too much time.
Perhaps it's the school load. Perhaps I'm losing my edge. But I can't seem to find anything to blog about. Nothing spectacular, nothing thought provoking. It's not that my life has suddenly become boring. School work might be draining, but it leaves me with a sense of accomplishment, bullocks to what my critics say. It's not that the world suddenly lacks thought-provoking issues. There must be a hundred and one things that I could probably think of and pen down.
Maybe I'm really losing my edge. I haven't had a wild idea hit me in some time. I haven't really felt "alive" in some time. Even the treks up Bukit Timah haven't left me with as good a feeling as I had wanted them to leave. Maybe the whole school/activities/deadlines thing has numbed my mind to the full effects of taking on a trail/finishing up an assignment/doing up an interesting blog post. The things I've done, the things I've heard, the rubbish I've dished out... all seem a blur. And I wonder why.
Maybe I'm losing touch with myself. Maybe I'm losing touch with God. Maybe life was meant to be like this... with people sometimes feeling lost and just drifting on with their lives. Even the "retina burn" scare didn't leave me shaken for very long. I mean, what sane person would easily forget that green auras kept appearing in his vision for one day? What sane person could be sitting nervously in the A and E one day and laughing over his amplified astigmatism that same night? What sane person would simply forget that perhaps that ordeal was meant to teach me something? What sane person asks so many questions without really knowing why and how to answer them? What sane person bores his blog readers with mundane details such as these?
Gee. I long for some time with my parents just to laze around and chat. I long for time to go out with old friends. I long for time to build new friendships. I long for more inspiration to write. I long for the times in Indonesia just going around the old house, climbing the tree across the road, riding the motocycle, feeding the mosquitoes. I miss being me. -Jimmy
Perhaps it's the school load. Perhaps I'm losing my edge. But I can't seem to find anything to blog about. Nothing spectacular, nothing thought provoking. It's not that my life has suddenly become boring. School work might be draining, but it leaves me with a sense of accomplishment, bullocks to what my critics say. It's not that the world suddenly lacks thought-provoking issues. There must be a hundred and one things that I could probably think of and pen down.
Maybe I'm really losing my edge. I haven't had a wild idea hit me in some time. I haven't really felt "alive" in some time. Even the treks up Bukit Timah haven't left me with as good a feeling as I had wanted them to leave. Maybe the whole school/activities/deadlines thing has numbed my mind to the full effects of taking on a trail/finishing up an assignment/doing up an interesting blog post. The things I've done, the things I've heard, the rubbish I've dished out... all seem a blur. And I wonder why.
Maybe I'm losing touch with myself. Maybe I'm losing touch with God. Maybe life was meant to be like this... with people sometimes feeling lost and just drifting on with their lives. Even the "retina burn" scare didn't leave me shaken for very long. I mean, what sane person would easily forget that green auras kept appearing in his vision for one day? What sane person could be sitting nervously in the A and E one day and laughing over his amplified astigmatism that same night? What sane person would simply forget that perhaps that ordeal was meant to teach me something? What sane person asks so many questions without really knowing why and how to answer them? What sane person bores his blog readers with mundane details such as these?
Gee. I long for some time with my parents just to laze around and chat. I long for time to go out with old friends. I long for time to build new friendships. I long for more inspiration to write. I long for the times in Indonesia just going around the old house, climbing the tree across the road, riding the motocycle, feeding the mosquitoes. I miss being me. -Jimmy
posted by Jimmy at 12:09 AM
1 Comments:
Why miss being urself? Just go ahead and be urself. Do what you want! Why bore urself with all those grades that does not really matter at the end of the days? U mentioned that u wanna catch up with ur friends, then go do it b4 something happens and out of a sudden it becomes too late to do so. Go build new friendships if u wish, why stop urself and all, there are so many ppl out there tat are waiting for you to discover!
2:33 AM
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