One Day When I was Coming Home from School...

No man is an island. Perhaps he is more like a boat, able to move about, but still dependent upon fuel and skilled navigation

Geez. What a long title. Ok, this train of thought occurred when I was coming home from school, so I figure that it fits as a title. It was just another day in school. One of the wonders of the second week of school is the fact that I found no need to stay back in school after the normal lessons for project meetings and whatnot. I had earlier told my mom that I'd be home for lunch, so immediately after lessons, I made my way to the bus-stop and waited for the ride home.

Still, I had a little feeling at the base of my stomach that I was missing a vibrant aspect of student life by going home straight after lessons. Think about it: What's the first thing that comes to your mind when a person goes straight home without having lunch with classmates and enjoying some idle chit-chat? Stuck-up. Mugger. Loner. SOB elitist who won't fit the time into his schedule for his classmates.

Well, this dilemma hit me back in my JC days before. Some days, when I'd be taking my bus home after school, I'd see the more "on" people in class heading off somewhere for dinner. A part of me wanted to join this group, to find out their goings-on, to bond with them outside of the class, to just have fun. However, my more (stingy) dominant half would reason that dinner at home is guaranteed nice, wholesome and free. Also, I would have more time to play my computer games.

I didn't bring a lot of friends over from JC. Throughout my army days, I only went out with the same bunch of people: sometimes the friends from my primary school days, sometimes the "Bachelor's Club" from SA ODAC. But it's amazing how this particular group stayed in-touch even as the army brought out the best and worst in all of us. We pulled through thick and thin, even arranging a special get-together when one of us, who had migrated to England, came back to Singapore. So what was my point again? Oh yes, my point is that despite restricting my hours in school to just that of lessons and CCAs, I still managed to keep a bunch of friends that I really treasure and enjoy the company of.

So, in my roundabout fashion, I'm going to link that feeling back in JC to the feeling I have now while waiting for the bus. What has changed? Meals at home are still nice, wholesome and free. Some of the more "on" people do meet up for lunch and some chit chat. Well, not much has changed, eh? So the logical aspect in me would think: if you didn't go out with friends after school hours back then and still ended up with a tight circle of friends, can't you do the same now and still end up with some good friends at least?

Perhaps some things have changed. Now that I'm being trained as a businessman/manager, a part of me is saying that I should get to know as many people in school now to build up my network. Afterall, these people are going to be your peers in the working world. They can provide you lobangs, introduce trusted clients, make or break your career. A strong network now can prove very useful later on. So a part of me screams to stay in school to strengthen my bonds with these new friends.

Some part of me also tells me that uni is probably the best place to find a girlfriend. Everyone says that you'll be busy building your career after this, so if you can juggle studies and a partner now (like so many other people in uni), what can be a better time? What's the harm in staying back in school to build up a network of friends and perhaps find a suitable partner?

These things float in my mind as I wait for the bus. On one hand, it's the familiarity of home, the coziness of your own bed, the wholesome meals. On the other hand, it's the needs I've identified to strenthen my position in the future, and maybe finding someone you could enjoy life with. As I step onto the bus, I am hit with guilt; that I'm putting off my network building by yet another day.

Maybe the next time I sit at the bus-stop waiting for my ride home, I'll finally decide that I would want to forego the familiarity of home for one day and bond with my friends. Maybe I'll walk away from that bus-stop and head back into the school compound. Maybe. If project work doesn't get to me first. -Jimmy