Darts of Pleasure

Words of love and words so leisured
Words are poisoned darts of pleasure.

Some time ago, I had this conversation with my JC friends. Friend I had just gotten attached, and Friend H was sharing some of the things he could look forward to in a relationship. H talked about pet names.

"Pet names are one of the things that are unique in a relationship. You come up with names like Hunny Bunny for each other."
Friend I asked H what pet name he gave for the girl for his longest lasting relationship.
"Oh, I'm a lazy person, so I just went for the one syllable 'dear'."

At this point, I blurted out, "I 'dear' everyone on my MSN la."

The point of this post is about how easy it is to call someone "dear". Everyone does it in business letters. "Dear so-and-so,", they all begin with. But are those clients really dear to you? In monetary terms maybe, but is that the only way they endear themselves to you? By increasing the thickness of your wallet?

Friend D and I once had this conversation about calling a friend with terms of endearment. I remember telling her back then, "I'd only call close friends dear. Other than that, it's more like a term for exasperation. Like, 'Dear, now look what you've done'."

So what does that make me? A person who says 'dear' without attaching any emotional weight on it? A mere hand-dryer whose sole purpose is to blow hot air?

I might have gotten the answer last week. While I was grilled by friend Hf (I sure hope I've never assigned Hf to anyone else) on who I was dating, I coyly replied, "My heart only beats for you, dear." To which she retorted, "But I won't date you, cos you only say sweet words and nothing else."

Ouch. I guess I better find that power socket and start blowing hot air, then. Some of you might want that from me. He's much better looking as a cute little plastic box with a fan and heating element anyway. But don't you want to hear my side of the story?

Hf really is a dear cos she's smart and receptive. She has very good interpersonal skills and we have very easygoing conversations. That explains the 'dear' bit. How about the other thing about you only spouting sweet nothings like a Glade Air freshener? Well, if I said it once, and I meant it then, and I said it again, except that I was indifferent about attaching an emotion to it, does it count? I *might* mean it, but I definitely did not *not* mean it.

My view on the issue lies in the line from a Franz Ferdinand song. Leisured words of love are darts of pleasure, providing us with pangs of euphoria and ecstacy. But these same darts that provide pleasure are also laced with poison. Fire those darts wrongly, or let them hit you at the wrong spot, those darts might not be so pleasurable after all. -Jimmy