The Spoils of War
It is common knowledge that couples exchange gifts. These range from the simple yet thoughtful to the really extravagant showy gifts. H got a guitar from his “wifey” recently. (He calls her wifey, or “dear”, as in “Hey, dear.”) It was a thoughtful gift as they both love music and it was her first guitar, the one she trained on. Even an emotionally dead person like me could see that the gift’s value was far beyond the price of the guitar.
As I glanced at the guitar yesterday, a thought struck me.
“When a guy and a girl breaks up, and the guy gave the girl lots of expensive stuff (eg, a precious guitar), is the stuff the guy’s or the girl’s?”
“Girl’s,” H replied without batting an eyelid. “I’ve been through enough of those to tell you that with confidence.” And indeed he has. You see, even though he set up the “bachelor’s club” back in our JC ODAC, H was what you’d call a “buaya”. He even proudly proclaimed once: “Take any single digit number, and that’s the number of relationships I’ve been in. Find that number squared, and that’s the number of rejections I’ve had.”
“How about personal items? Stuff like clothes and shavers? You know, when you take showers at your girlfriend’s place, you sometimes leave some of your clothes with her just in case.”
“Still the girl’s.”
This was not entirely true, because I’ve heard of some of my friends going back to their ex’s place to collect their personal stuff. But I guess the jurisdiction lies with the girl whether she wants you to take your items or not, which means H’s answer was still right: It’s the girl’s but she can choose to return the items to you.
“Look, if I hadn’t had so many girlfriends, you think I’d be wearing the same clothes over and over again?” H joked. Along with that joke, came the old joke: the girls will say, “My money is my money. Your money is also my money.”
I’ll probably stay single for a long time for saying this, but relationships are an expensive investment. Your capital is not assured, some investments do not net dividend or interest yields and even parting with the investment brings with it costs. They’re worst off than unit trusts. In a way, it’s almost like gambling, like buying futures or forwards without a hedging option. (You could get a hedging option, but it’s risky if the investment finds out.)
“Oh, so what happens to all your underwear you leave behind? It’s not like she can use it right?”
Everyone fell silent. Of course she can use it. Rip it up and use them as rags maybe? Put it on her soft toys to create a zoo of boy-brief wearing animals?
“She could give it to her new boyfriend.”
Laughter all around.
Tf thinks that this problem probably occurs in an unclean break-up. I mean, if it was a clean split, what’s the point of holding onto something you find (mostly) no use for? However, in an unclean split, she suggests hanging it outside his door with hate-mail attached to it.
In conclusion, the two ways about it are:
1) Don’t leave clothes at your bf/gf’s place, or if you want to, just leave disposable underwear, or 2) Try for clean break-ups. Being a “swah-kuu” in this, I think all break-ups should be clean. I’m assuming we’re all rational, grown-up individuals who can still face their exes without spouting profanities. Okay, maybe give a month or two. The world has enough problems without petty quarrels between exes. At least that’s how I hope my break-ups to be, if I ever had to face one. -Jimmy
As I glanced at the guitar yesterday, a thought struck me.
“When a guy and a girl breaks up, and the guy gave the girl lots of expensive stuff (eg, a precious guitar), is the stuff the guy’s or the girl’s?”
“Girl’s,” H replied without batting an eyelid. “I’ve been through enough of those to tell you that with confidence.” And indeed he has. You see, even though he set up the “bachelor’s club” back in our JC ODAC, H was what you’d call a “buaya”. He even proudly proclaimed once: “Take any single digit number, and that’s the number of relationships I’ve been in. Find that number squared, and that’s the number of rejections I’ve had.”
“How about personal items? Stuff like clothes and shavers? You know, when you take showers at your girlfriend’s place, you sometimes leave some of your clothes with her just in case.”
“Still the girl’s.”
This was not entirely true, because I’ve heard of some of my friends going back to their ex’s place to collect their personal stuff. But I guess the jurisdiction lies with the girl whether she wants you to take your items or not, which means H’s answer was still right: It’s the girl’s but she can choose to return the items to you.
“Look, if I hadn’t had so many girlfriends, you think I’d be wearing the same clothes over and over again?” H joked. Along with that joke, came the old joke: the girls will say, “My money is my money. Your money is also my money.”
I’ll probably stay single for a long time for saying this, but relationships are an expensive investment. Your capital is not assured, some investments do not net dividend or interest yields and even parting with the investment brings with it costs. They’re worst off than unit trusts. In a way, it’s almost like gambling, like buying futures or forwards without a hedging option. (You could get a hedging option, but it’s risky if the investment finds out.)
“Oh, so what happens to all your underwear you leave behind? It’s not like she can use it right?”
Everyone fell silent. Of course she can use it. Rip it up and use them as rags maybe? Put it on her soft toys to create a zoo of boy-brief wearing animals?
“She could give it to her new boyfriend.”
Laughter all around.
Tf thinks that this problem probably occurs in an unclean break-up. I mean, if it was a clean split, what’s the point of holding onto something you find (mostly) no use for? However, in an unclean split, she suggests hanging it outside his door with hate-mail attached to it.
In conclusion, the two ways about it are:
1) Don’t leave clothes at your bf/gf’s place, or if you want to, just leave disposable underwear, or 2) Try for clean break-ups. Being a “swah-kuu” in this, I think all break-ups should be clean. I’m assuming we’re all rational, grown-up individuals who can still face their exes without spouting profanities. Okay, maybe give a month or two. The world has enough problems without petty quarrels between exes. At least that’s how I hope my break-ups to be, if I ever had to face one. -Jimmy
posted by Jimmy at 11:28 AM
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