Towers that reach the Clouds

They called me again to ask me to go for my re-medical appointment. This is probably the furthest I'd get before I decide my possible future.

In the evening, my parents started asking me if I'd given such a future serious thought. It's not good for your social life, they said. There'll be some periods of time when you'll miss important family events and you won't be able to contribute to the nurturing fatherly figure aspect of your childrens' development, they said. Yes, I had given it thought. Yes, there'll be times when I'll be gone from home for days at a stretch. I tried to propose that I could request for short sectors, but dad rightly pointed out that much of my salary will depend on the sectors. My father knows the pay scheme of pilots from reading the newspapers.

There's a high chance that you might be alone overseas and begin to stray. There's a chance that your wife might be alone in Singapore and begin to stray, he says. They're all very real considerations and they haven't been covered in depth with the girlfriend. Interspersed between an evening's conversations, I explained to her what I had read from AskCaptainLim.com. How long the training will be. How sectors get rostered. Practical tips for such couples to maintain their marriages. (How I should get a good laptop with a webcam for Skype sessions.)

The girlfriend pointed out that I wasn't asking for her permission. (If anything, she had always advocated for people to dare to chase their dreams.) At the end of the night, she simply said, "I want you to chase your dream, but I don't want to be left behind."

I have this analogy about life. For every action you take, for every decision you make, you lay down a brick. Some people build walls to hem themselves in, but most people build towers to stand upon, to reach towards their dreams (for dreams lie hidden amongst the clouds). As you lay down the bricks, you'll meet people who join their towers with yours. Some of these towers are only joined in a small area, some are joined through many storeys in height. In the same way towers might converge, they might diverge again later on. You cannot go back down the tower to seperate your tower from these peoples'; only time will erode them away.

When I made a conscious decision to build my tower towards this dream, she was there beside me, laying down bricks with me so we'd both reach our goals faster. I remember her words of encouragement when I was a ball of nerves before my first interview. I remember how she'd smile and frown as I shared my triumphs and setbacks. Looking back, between our brick-laying, we've built quite a chunk of tower. As we continue chasing our own dreams, it dawned on me that the tower we're building together is also a part of my dreams. In fact, everyone's tower is pretty much a part of their dreams. It was a gentle reminder that while we continue to build our own towers, we should pause once in a while to see who is building their towers alongside us. -Jimmy