The Gamer Geek

I've never really noticed this, but I did when I visited a LAN gaming centre on Friday. You know how it is that certain places always seem to be a gathering place for a certain sub-set of the male species? Well, that day in the LAN shop was almost a documentary experience, highlighting the various quirks of this sub-species known as "The Gamer Geek".

When I first got to my seat, I noticed this person sitting diagonally across me, facing me. His spectacles reflected the action going on on screen and he was slouched over his keyboard and mouse. But the thing I noticed was how his mouth was agape. I don't know why, but his lips seemed to have some repulsive force that prevented them from shutting. The worst part was how his tongue seemed to dart across his lips and just dance within that open mouth. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with wetting your lips. They do get quite dry in the air-conditioned environment.

However, the way the tongue moved around purposefully inside his mouth intrigued me. It almost looked like a cat prowling around some food, looking for any possible traps that came with the food. Overall, the reflective specs, the open mouth and that feline tongue produces an image which is close to one I've labelled "disadvantaged kid".

My computer proved to be troublesome and I ended up following the shop minder as he looked for a computer that would work. I ended up watching the action on Feline Tongue's monitor. He was playing vanilla Battlefield 2, flying the fighter jets. He looked like a pretty good player, judging by how he managed to line up bombing runs. Then I noticed another aspect of his behaviour: how each one of his motions were "jittery". If he wanted to scratch his arm, his hand would leave his mouse, dart over to the other arm and give exactly two scratches. Ditto with his other hand. Even adjusting his spectacles was a very brief affair. It made for some amusing entertainment.

A friend I spoke to afterwards euphamises it: "Don't call it jittery. He's probably such an intense player that each of his actions, whether in game or out of game is precise. He gets his desired effect with minimal effort."

As luck would have had it, I ended up sitting beside Feline Tongue. Then I noticed another aspect of Gamer Geeks. They have fragile egos too. When Feline Tongue noticed that I was playing the same game as he was, he started being very vocal about his game. "I just love tearing those parachutists with the AA guns! Look at those idiots trying to run away from my bombing run! Ha! Your SAMs can't get me!"

Dude, it's just a game. I'm just there to enjoy a short destress session. There's no need to feel threatened by me; I'm a n00b player. There's no need to gloat about your pixel achievements either, we're all not interested. The worst bit was when I chatted with friend G who was sitting across from me. We were comparing our various escapades and the close shaves we've had while waiting for our maps to load. When G was detailing how he was only lacking 2 "silver badges" to complete his line-up, Feline Tongue blabbered out, "Yah, yah. Wah. Veteran badges already." I'm not sure if G figured out that Feline was making fun of us, but I decided that in the presense of such fragile egos, I had better ignore everything he was saying.

I wonder how the Gamer Geek sub-species evolved into such a form. Are guys really such ego-maniacs? Do we really look so stupid when playing our games so intently? Are we really such bas****s when we feel our presense is threatened? Perhaps I'll sit in Lan shops one day and just observe these people. Perhaps I might find more quirks and report them here. I just hope I don't end up like Feline Tongue. -Jimmy