Un Agony

Dear Aunt Agony

Hello again. Now I'm confused. Yesterday, I was on the bus with my parents. Halfway through the journey, they asked if I'd noticed that the person who just got off had been "checking me out".
Now this should be a cause of concern, because it's bad enough if they suggest a girl was checking me out. But the person who'd just got off was a gay. A broad-shouldered, wide-jawed, spaghetti-strap wearing specimen.
Why is it I can draw the attention of gays, but not girls? Aunt Agony, what's wrong with me?

Single, but not desperate

Dear Desperate

Now you've irked my interest. The next time you write in, would you mind sending in a picture of yourself?
Frankly though, what's wrong with people looking at you while you're on the bus? I'm sure Gurmit Singh faces the same fate. In fact, I think he has it worse: imagine both guys and gays, old ah-mahs and smelly school kids will watch him in the bus, if they ever caught the same bus as he did.
Just be glad they don't ask you where your yellow boots and mole is.

Aunt Agony