Flings in a Foreign land

I was early for class last week and the classroom wasn't opened for us yet. So three of us were standing outside the classroom. The other two guys were talking with each other, so I just stood there like the wallflower I usually am.

The French guy was saying how he was at so-and-so party and he met this girl. And that they met again at so-and-so party and that he's been trying very hard to get to know her and "become something" with her but she's been very coy about it. So you get the drift; the guy's desperate and the girl's not giving him anything.

First of all, let me clarify that I have nothing against desperate guys. The year of the rat means I'm 24 and that makes 24 years of singlehood. Which really is fine, but I might end up a desperate guy the next time the rat year comes around. What I have something against is how quickly the guy wants to "get somewhere" with the girl. This is a blog, so here you get a dose of personal opinions: 2 parties hardly counts as being close to getting to know a girl. Maybe a lunch out first, or maybe doing some other activities besides parties.

Ok, maybe I've pigeon-holed the guy to become something he really isn't, I told myself. So class starts and it was an interesting lecture by a young prof in jeans and sneakers and really messy hair (girls, take note that Dutch guys look pretty good) about an innovation system and how it works in a framework of universities, firms and research institutes.

During the break, the French guy continues talking to the Italian. The conversation now shifted to the Italian's side. He was saying how he had an enjoyable time with so-and-so girl. Immediately, the French guy asks, "So what kinda girl is she? Girlfriend? F**k buddy? Complicated?"

Right. That drove the nail into the coffin. The term "f**k buddy" sealed this guy's status as both desperate and horny. Is this what they call flings while on exchange? The way the person talked about it so casually surprised me somewhat. Maybe I don't hang out with people like that back home, but I have never heard of guys call their female friends f**k buddies. Hf will tell you that it demeans girls and she will personally hunt you down and demean your manhood.

Ok, even the guys who talked about their sexual experiences back in army talked about their girlfriends. Not someone they met twice at a party. Man, I feel like I'm harping so much over what may possibly be nothing.

So anyway, the Singaporean friends I have over here were saying what they were going to do for Valentine's day. One couple bought new board games to play together on boring nights. 3 guys sent parcels back to their girlfriends in Singapore with various gifts. (Which, for the purposes of "keeping it special", they're not willing to tell me.) Another guy set aside a few hours for a video chat with his other half.

So this Valentine's day, I hope the world celebrates with the silly little gifts that mean nothing and yet mean everything, rather than with a drunken party and some f**k buddies.