The Girl and the Smile

Friend F and I shuffled towards the bus stop. Yet another day in school had passed. Time to head home for dinner. It was almost eight at night, but from previous experience, we knew that our bus will be packed. "Another "standing room only" trip, eh?" I commented as the single decker bus came into view. Friend F muttered something about the bus providing us a cross-section of Singapore's heartlanders.

We climbed aboard. Sure enough, there was only standing room for us. It didn't matter. We've served National Service. We've both dived the depths. I've climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. F has completed a marathon before. We've both survived our first year in university. Standing in the bus? No problem.

As we moved toward the back of the bus, I noticed a girl occupying 2 seats. She had the look typical of people with Down's Syndrome. At times, she'd clap silently, all the time wearing a huge grin on her face. I figured that it was rude to keep observing her, so I chatted with F while to keep my attention away from her.

9 bus stops. Time for me to get off. By now, we were all the way at the back of the bus, so I had to fight through the crowd to get to the exit. As I squeezed past a fellow passanger, my eyes came across the girl again. She was looking at me, still wearing that wide grin. She waved, then held eight of her fingers up. I had no idea how to respond, so I ended up wearing my diplomatic smile.

As I got off the bus, I wondered about the diplomatic smile. I guess it was the only thing I could do at that point of time. My hands were occupied, I had to get to the exit before the bus pulled away from the stop and I couldn't just ignore the girl. Thus a smile. The universal sign of friendship.

But is it really a sign of friendship? The very fact that it was a diplomatic smile means that I wasn't truly sincere. It's the smile I use in awkward situations. See someone familiar in the street, but not sure who he is? Diplomatic smile. At a large party and not really close to anyone in particular? Diplomatic smile. Think that your boss cracked a joke, but at the same time not sure if he was being serious? Diplomatic smile.

How often are these smiles sincere? They aren't the "raise eyebrow, twinkle eyes, deep dimpled smiles" when we see someone we truly care about. They don't come from the heart. They come from the brain.

The comic strip "Dilbert" once documented this phenomenon of diplomatic smiles. The character was recounting how he wasn't sure how to greet a fellow employee (or worker drone) along the office corridor. In the end, the diplomatic smile he came up with looked like a cross between "looking like (I'm) about to sneeze, and (I'm) suffering constipation."

Take out the humourous aspect of diplomatic smiles, and you'll realise what a sad world we'd be living in if everyone only flashes such smiles. -Jimmy

Messenger Woes

Dang! There it goes again...

Ever since I've started my stint in a local university, I've realised how helpful MSN messenger is. It's a wonderful tool for communication, it's a great avenue for e-flirting and it keeps me awake during boring lessons.

My contact list has ballooned ever since matriculation. Where I only had 30 plus contacts before starting school, I now have close to 150 more names. Its simple, it's efficient, it's the most pervasive IM service there is IMO.

School used to allow the MSN ports. Students would MSN at home, they'd MSN in the library, they'd MSN during class. Conversations would go like:

A "What the hell is the prof talking about?"

B "Well, if you remember what was taught in FA..."
or
A "Hey good looking. What's for dinner?"

B "I still hate the fact that you appeared late for every single meeting last term. Buzz off."

The professors didn't mind. The nice thing about their teaching pedagogy is that "if you wanna learn, you listen and take notes. If you don't wanna listen and wanna waste your youth away, it's your life." You could hear keyboards tapping away while he continues his seminar.

But when the new school term started, we realised something hideous. Our MSNs would suddenly disconnect together. And that never happened when we were at home. So, being the smart university students that we are, we arrived at this conclusion: the school's network is screwing with our MSN. It's quite simple, really. Find the ports MSN uses and block them at the central server. Voila! One thousand MSN users disconnected simultaneously.

Why? What kind of sick entertainment do you guys up there get out of watching students desperately trying to reconnect? Why does MSN only work intermittently now? What is wrong with students MSN-ing? Are you going to impose higher school fees for ppl who use MSN now?

Conversely, will my school fees be cheaper if I switch to WiMax when it comes out? -Jimmy

The Mysteries of the Universe...

Crickey! It's not their massive jaws or paws! It's their barbed tail I'm supposed to look out for!

Today's lesson will be about inertia. What is this strange force that stops us from starting work after a long break? Does it have anything to do with the dark energy that exists in the universe? Does it explain why the main character in "Barnyard", the new animated movie, has a bull cow with massive udders? Does it have anything to do with Steve Irwin's death?

The mysteries of the universe... That's why we keep living day by day: all the curveballs life throws at us are what makes it worth living. -Jimmy

I don't Know Why I Even Bother

I don't know why I even bother. We talk. No one listens. We think our opinions get through. No one listens. Someone else talks. We think that it's only polite to listen. THen someone makes a stupid remark that clearly shows that he wasn't listening. Some of us sigh, some of us pretend to listen. The discussion goes on a different direction. The meeting takes ages. Nothing much gets done.

I don't know why I even bother. -Jimmy