Why does "Dressing Up" have a Female Connotation?

"You think I might look nicer with eyeshadow?"

I was in school today to complete a group project. Since I didn't have any official lessons on, I decided to dress down. So I came in my very relaxed T-shirt and bermudas. While having lunch with a group mate, I noticed how so many of the girls in school were dressed nicely. They were colour-coordinated, they knew what looked nice on themselves and most had make-up applied.

For me, the experience was rather surreal. For 2 years, I was stuck in a camp for 5 days in a week. From the time I woke up, to the time I hit my bed to sleep at night, all I saw were guys in No. 4. And if you haven't already heard from your friends, there were those who didn't shower for 2,3 or even 4 days. Yes. They did not shower in camp. They do not make use of the shower facilities from the time they book in to the time they book out. Most of us wouldn't bat an eyelid at someone who looks dishevelled. Now, there were girls all over the school, girls who look like dressing and grooming is second nature to them. Girls who apply make up like it was their second skin.

I then turned my attention to the guys. (If anybody thinks that this is a sign of homosexuality, I don't think you are mature enough to read this blog.) Besides a few who bothered to dress up and those doing presentations, the guys looked relaxed, either in their bermudas or jeans.

So I guess the assumption that can be made here is that guys don't care how they look, not as much as girls anyway. But if you really probe deeper, is it because guys only have limited fashion choices? Is it a chicken and egg situation? Is it because the guys can't be bothered to dress up, considering they never had to make any fashion choices back in army?

How bout the girls? Why do they bother so much about dressing up? Societal norm? Peer pressure? Whatever happened to the notion of natural beauty? Would that perfect tinge of pink blush scream louder than your character? Do they do it to attract attention? Whose? Their boyfriends? Their potential boyfriends? Any other guy? If everyone dresses up, wouldn't the odd one out then be the one who attracts the most attention?

So I could spend ages wondering why it is they bother so much about their appearances. Perhaps I could ask one of them. Perhaps it could even be a project topic. Or I could just keep wondering for the next four years I study here. -Jimmy

Lost (and found?)

Don't go so mad that you start seeing Ribena berries...

In most blogs, this would be known as the "ranting post". You know how it goes: Blogger is frustrated and exasperated with the world in general and some people in particular, blogger writes a whole chunk to diss some people off, blogger gets it out of his or her system, blogger feels much better.

What shall I rant about, then? Well, I've been helping my best buddy organise a diving trip as part of his working commitee. I thought it would be good experience working with external parties to bring the joys of diving to fellow students. It would look nice on the CVs too.

However, diving, mid-term tests and project work doesn't go too well with one another. All throughout the week, I felt perpetually drained. The worst part about planning trips for other people is that you forget you'll be going for it yourself. You spend so much time telling others what to pack that you forget you'll have to pack too.

I don't blame the trip per se. School's slowly building up the pressure. I've got projects for all 4 modules and they're all far from completion. I've got more quizzes coming after the one week break. I foresee the break's just going to be another week spent meeting project work-mates in school.

What happened to "Me time"? Where did all those days when we could just meet up and chill along Orchard go? When was the last time I played pool with my brudders? The last time I met up with my JC/army/secondary school friends? I mourn the lost of "Me time". I rant about it.

Alas, the universe is a big place, and it doesn't centre around me. Or anyone of you out there. But seriously, if you have been busy organising events, or doing projects, or slogging it out at the workplace, give yourselves just 30 minutes. Even if you have lost "Me time", don't lose yourself. Find a way to reconnect. I just did. -Jimmy

A Story of a Boy

Everyone needs company. Just like the floor needs a Big Gulp.

This post is about a boy. Let's just call him Ah Cheng. AC is a university undergraduate studying in a local university. (There are only 3 at the moment, so you try guessing which) I wouldn't want AC to be identified, so let's just say that he's of average height, not exceptionally toned and is average looking.

AC had been studying in mixed-gender schools all these while. While he saw many of his peers get attached during his time in Secondary schools and Junior College, he himself did not get attached. AC claims that he wanted to concentrate on his studies. (In my opinion, I think he really didn't know what relationships were about and was afraid to commit, but I digress)

AC was enlisted into the army soon after his A levels. It was a time of great change in the army. Because of the transformation to a "leaner, 3G SAF", AC only had to spend 2 years and 2 months serving his nation. During this time, he saw people from all walks of life: noisy ah-bengs, lowly educated commanders and caring leaders. However, most of them were male. His closest army friends regularly invited him out to "chiong", but a night at the club always ended with AC taking a lone taxi ride home, without any new friends or contacts.

Out of the army, AC was eager for university life to start. He reasoned that studies wouldn't be as bad as the sh*t he had to put up with while in the army. (No offence to anyone, this is just the opinions of one person) Moreover, he was more than happy that he could finally be in close contact with females, after 2 years in the army.

Orientation was a blast. AC made lots of friends, both guys and girls. While he was not painfully shy, AC had limited contact with females back in secondary school and junior college, preferring instead the company of his "brudders". For probably the first time in his life, AC realised that girls were not that much different from guys. He had fun telling them lame jokes and they also shared silly anecdotes.

As school drew near, AC kept in contact with his friends through MSN messenger. While he was not eyeing anyone in particular, he felt that he clicked with certain females from his group and really wanted them to progress.

School starts. The weeks go by. Workload builds up. Soon, AC's life is filled with lessons, then assignments, then project work and presentations. Of course, there were the regular quizzes that kept even a bright boy like AC on his toes. Constantly placed under the workload, AC began to wonder if there could be more to uni life than just work. Sure, he actively participated in his favourite game of floorball every week, but deep inside, AC yearned for more.

AC started being very interested in a BGR. (I wonder why it's always referred to as "Boy-Girl Relationship", not "Girl-Boy Relationship". Gender discrimination at play? Maybe for another blog post.) He actively tried to get closer to some of his new female friends. AC tried his best to know them better, hoping that they would reciprocate and he would move onto the fast-track of BGR. Unfortunately for our hero, none of the girls reciprocated in the way he had expected.

Meanwhile, the school work kept its pressure on our poor boy. His yearning for a more holistic life still ended up with nothing. AC became increasingly sure that a girlfriend was what he needed. However, the harder he tried, the harder his failure hit him. AC ended up feeling bouts of depression, often snapping at friends during project meetings.

I don't know how many people actually come up to this blog to read about the issues brought up. But here goes. Just what is a BGR like? Is it as wonderful and "flowery" as one might think? Is there really a greater sense of "fullness" for a person in a relationship? Just what does a relationship entail? Would you go into one if you didn't know? Is love truly blind, or is it blinding? Just a few questions to ponder over. - Jimmy

Disclaimer: The characters and situations depicted are based on real people. AC is an amalgamation of several people. As expected, AC is not a real name.